So first off, this post might get a little TMI. If that sort of thing freaks you out, just tune in later for my next post :) Also, it's a little long. Hope you don't get too bored!
Let's back track a little. My older sister who has THE cutest baby boys on the freaking planet had #1, her son Gavin in July 2010. I got married soon after. Even though I had always said I wasn't having kids until I was at least 30 and seriously meant it, I had no desire to become a mommy anytime soon. Yet, after getting married, buying a house and being around this adorable doll of a child on a frequent basis, I decided that my preconceived notions about babies and children were wrong. I learned that babies didn't cry every time I held them and that they didn't break when I picked them up. After all of that reassuring evidence, it hit me that I might be able to do this...some day.
Well in July 2011, tragedy struck and Daniel's dad passed away without warning. He and Dan's two brothers were in the process of moving and he just collapsed on the lawn and never woke up. This sudden passing really put things into perspective for us. Sure, I was only 24 and Daniel only 26, but we realized that life really is short. I had been graduated from college for three years at this point, we owned our own house, both of us have a reliable income and employment and we figured, let's go for it! Let's start our family.
In August I went off the pill. Well, almost three months later I still hadn't had a period yet. I'd been tracking my cycle with a basal body temperature each morning and was using ovulation predictor strips just to see if I would ovulate because you have to ovulate before you can have a period. Well, I hit day 90 and still hadn't ovulated at this point, so I went in to my OBGYN.
He recommended that I use progesterone to kick start my period and then figured I would likely ovulate after that. However, he wanted me to use Clomid, an ovary stimulating drug, to ensure that I would ovulate. I used Clomid and fortunately I did ovulate and I actually ended up getting pregnant. On the first try!! This was in January, and I was literally in shock. At this point, I'd become a member of an online community of women who were also in the trying to conceive (TTC) boat, same as myself. I'd pretty much become an expert on tracking cycles, using all of the tricks of the trade to achieve that miraculous goal of getting pregnant. Because of this and learning about stories from other women, I knew it was almost crazy to get pregnant right away. After knowing what I know about trying to get pregnant, those oopsie babies that seem to happen to so many teenage girls, it just seems to insane to me that they even happen at all.
Anyway, unfortunately at six weeks I lost the baby. I knew something wasn't "right" from the start of the pregnancy and was constantly anxious about something going wrong. Well it did, but we kept up hope that it would happen for us. After that, it took two cycles of clomid (that didn't work to make me ovulate) and several medically-induced periods to get me to throw my hands up in the air. I wasn't ovulating on my own. I wasn't ovulating with medical assistance. SOMETHING had to be wrong. I just didn't know what.
My doctor decided he was going to test me for PCOS (poly cystic ovary syndrome) to see if that is why I wasn't ovulating or having natural periods. I had several of the symptoms and it is very common among women and one of the most common reasons a woman does not ovulate normally. Well, I medically induced another period so I could have a fresh cycle to get my blood work done.
For that cycle, I didn't take the clomid because it hadn't been working anyway. I'd read a lot online about Soy Isoflavones being used as a "natural" form of clomid. The bottle was like six bucks at Walmart, whereas I'd been spending $30 on my monthly clomid prescriptions, so I figured, what the heck and gave it a shot. About two weeks later, I got my blood work done and the next day, I just happened to ovulate. At this point I was so used to seeing negative pregnancy tests that I had zero optimism for that cycle.
My older brother Rusty, who is severely autistic, came to stay with Daniel and I for a week as sort of a vacation (woot!! He's such a blast, love that guy!) so I took the week off of work. Well, I was brushing my teeth one night and my gums started bleeding. I'd read that sometimes that was a pregnancy symptom, so I laughed and thought, what if?? The next day Rusty and I were out and about and I decided to hit up Walmart to buy a couple cheapo pregnancy tests just for the heck of it. Rusty bought a bunch of movie style candy. So together we head up to the check out counter, me with about eight of the .88 cent Walmart pregnancy test boxes and Rusty with a bunch of candy boxes. LOL, The check out lady probably thought we were crazy. Rusty, fortunately, has no idea what a pregnancy test is or looks like, so I knew my secret was safe.
I was still about five to seven days before my missed period, so I had NO inkling at all that in all seriousness I could be pregnant. Plus, at this point I still hadn't gotten my blood result tests back to find out if I had PCOS or not, so I figured I must be broken in one way or another. I took a test when we got back with my afternoon urine (which if you are a TTCer, you'll know that for early testing first morning urine is the only way to really guarantee a line). But sure enough, THERE WERE TWO LINES!!!
I was in shock. I was home with just Rusty and as he would never understand something like that, I didn't want to tell him. Plus, after losing our first baby, I was really skeptical about this pregnancy. I was scared of getting too attached too early. However, the minute Daniel walked in the door from work (a measly three hours later! gah!) I told him right away. He was super excited too, but like me, also very cautiously optimistic.
We remained that way until I officially hit the second trimester mark, but I really did feel good about this pregnancy from the start. Quite unlike our first experience. I still get a little panicked sometimes that something could go wrong, but honestly that could happen at anytime. There could be all kinds of bad things that could happen even once our little one gets here. As long as I do my best to be a good mom, there is little control I have over everything else. In the meantime, I am continually appreciative that things continue to look well for us and this baby. Hopefully at our Wednesday appointment, we'll find that continues to be the case!
And if you seriously read through this entire post, you deserve five gold stars!
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