Autism is something that is near and dear to my heart. For those of you who may not know me personally, my older brother Rusty is on the severe end of the Autism spectrum. He turns 34 in just a couple weeks. Functionally however, he operates more on the level of an 8 year old child. Since he is my big bro, I've grown up knowing Rusty was "different" and "special" since day one. At five years older than me, Rusty didn't begin to talk until I started talking at age 2. This was a really big deal for my parents who had struggled with therapies, special schools and aids to help him advance at any rate.
We were buddies from day one. :)
Rusty was diagnosed with Autism back in the 80s when so little was known about it. The support and help that many Autistic children receive now was just not possible. Not to mention my mom gave birth to him on her 19th birthday. Picture, a single teen mom, which is one of the most difficult parenting struggles a person can face, take on a special needs child by herself. For this, my mom is my hero. She's been Rusty's biggest advocate his entire life.
When we moved to a small town just before I began kindergarten my mom fought for Rusty to have the best educational experience he could. She met with school administrators time and again to ensure he would be able to go to "main stream" schooling with the help of a teacher's aid.
Now well into adulthood, Rusty is a great reader. Has a memory like an elephant. But if you ask him to add 2 plus 2, he probably couldn't tell you the answer. Ask him his birth date, no idea. If you ask him how old he is, his immediate response is: "Mom! How old am I again?"
Rusty remembers things that are important to him. Like every comic book super hero in the Marvel and DC universes, or John Candy's entire acting resume.
Rusty also exhibits signs of schizophrenia. He has a "friend" named Buddy who has been around as long as I can remember. Rusty has full-on, out-loud conversations with Buddy on a regular basis. Often for hours at a time. Because I grew up watching this, I have never really thought anything "odd" about it. Although when we are at the park and Rusty wanders off and has a conversation with Buddy, I can see why strangers might stare and be confused at the adult man talking to himself.
None of this has ever bothered me. Rusty is just Rusty. To me, he's normal. He was my first best friend. Unfortunately Rusty will never live a normal life. When I tell people that I haven an Autistic brother, they assume he falls somewhere higher functioning on the spectrum like so many kids do now. With high-functioning Autism being more well-recognized in the medical communities, just about everyone knows someone (likely many people) with Autism.
I'm so glad for the medical advancement that has allowed more therapies to emerge to help these individuals, especially as babies, toddlers and young children so they can more easily adapt to the world and have a better chance of one day becoming independent adults.
Sadly for my brother, he will never be one of those kids. Some days, I feel like it is fortunate - the level of his severity. He doesn't understand completely why all of his younger siblings have now moved out of the house and are getting married and having babies. It doesn't bother him that he will never date, or get married, or have kids of his own. If he was any higher functioning, he would realize all that he is missing out on and I think that would be incredibly hard for him.
Again, Rusty is who he is. He's one of the funniest (usually without meaning to be), honest and entertaining people I've ever met in my life. He's a great brother and an even better uncle to Jack (and soon to add in baby sister) as well as to his other nephews.
Everyone who knows Rusty and has the chance to interact with him has become a better person for it. There is something about a person like Rusty who really is able to put life's values into perspective. While I am sad he'll never have a "full" life, I am so grateful for the chance to have him like he is in my life. He's taught me so much. One day when my parents are no longer able to care for him, Rusty will come live with me and my family. I'm glad my children will get a chance to be close to their uncle and will get to experience knowing about differently-abled persons from a first-person perspective.
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