You Judge me, I Judge you.

Editors Note: This is kind of a rant post, so if you just come here to read about the hunky dory in my life and to see cute pics of my kid, check back later :) Also, swearing below. You've been warned.

In parenting, one thing I've learned is that we all judge each other for our various parenting choices. All of us do it. Don't deny it. You can act like you are the most open-minded person out there, but secretly you feel like your way of parenting is the best. And that's okay. We all do it differently because we are all different. And our kids are all different.

That all said, I am so over feeling judged. So OVER it. So I'm done. I'm done giving two shits what you think. Yes, you. All of you. 

You're right. My son is a MAMA'S BOY. He is. And I don't care. I love it. He can be needy and clingy all he wants because one day - he won't be. One day he will be off to college, living in another city, living his own life and raising his own kids and I'll be a once-a-week phone call (likely skype sesh) and that's okay. I know that is life and I can only hope to raise a healthy, independent, well-adjusted man to grow and succeed in this torrential world. And I believe I am preparing him to be just that. You can disagree all you want. You can disagree with my parenting until you are blue in the face, but I am just going to be over here, breastfeeding my two year old to sleep, knowing these days are fleeting. 

Yeah, you read that right. I am a crazy, crunchy, breastfeeding-her-toddler kind of mama. Do I care what you think? Nope. Not anymore I don't. I refuse to feel self concious for decisions I am making in my life for the betterment of my child. 

If you think I am weird for breastfeeding my two year old, it's because YOU'RE weird. And less informed that I am about the benefits of breastfeeding. So instead of wasting energy on worrying about how often my son still breastfeeds, maybe you could spend a little time on google learning more about the incredible ways he is going to benefit from this action. 

Also, to the recently published Scary Mommy blog (google if you feel so inclined, but I won't link to it) post about helicopter parents, I agree to a certain extent that we need to not try and bubble wrap the world our kids live in. Sure, they are going to learn the hard way sometimes - those scrapes and bruises are the ways nature says to us: "don't do that again." but there are times when it is necessary to hover a little bit. 

And if anyone wants to look down on me for actually being out there on the playground (heaven forbid) playing with my kid rather than sitting with all of the don't-give-a-shit moms not paying attention to their kids, staring at their phones for two hours - then judge away. Because I work. I have a job that requires me to be away from my son upwards of 30+ hours a week. So when I get a chance to run around the park with my kid, helping him down the slide (so he can learn how to do it on his own) then I am going to take every opportunity to do that. And enjoy it. 

Will I judge you for sitting there, face down in your phone caring more about what is going on with other people's lives rather than paying attention to your own? Yeah probably. But then Jack is going to slide down the big slide all by himself and I am going to be too happy for him and basking in his cuteness to really give a shit what you're doing and what you're missing out on. 

I base my parenting decisions off of two factors: one - my heart. I go with my gut. Everytime I've tried to do what someone has told me to do or some well-meaning parenting book, it feels wrong and usually has resulted in a lot of unnecessary tears and heartache. I also base a lot of my parenting off of science and research.  

Science, people. From actual scientific/medical journals and research. 

So here's what I've learned about parenting (in my short two years as a mom): 

Breast is best. (but formula is a valuable second - that said I feel fortunate I never had to use it.)

Baby wearing all day long won't prevent your child from learning to walk early. 

Pacifiers are not a tool of the devil. 

Co-sleeping won't kill your child (unless you're a drunk/intoxicated idiot). 

TV/screens can be a useful (but harmful if used in excess tool). 

Circumcision is wrong/cruel. 

Rear face your kids in the car until they are two. There is NO excuse to turn before then. None.

Vaccinate your kids. (on whatever schedule you see best, but do it, dammit.) 

Using violence to punish your kids is an asshole move and likely won't result in better behavior.

Pick up your crying baby. Always. 

I'm sure there is more I've learned, and I don't claim to be perfect. Hell no. I know I am not and I guarantee I have made mistakes and I will make more in the future. But what I am changing from here on out is my mindset. I firmly believe in what I do as Jack's mom. I believe in it with all my heart and soul. I won't let other opinions make me second guess my instincts. 

So there. 

Done ranting. Check back later for a happier/less angsty version of the blog later. :) And if you read all of this, you deserve a cookie.